Learning social skills is a crucial aspect of child development, and one that we focus on in the early developmental years especially, as it sets children up for the social environment of a modern world. Social skills for children are essential because they enable children to interact positively with others and express their needs, wants, and feelings effectively. The benefits of strong social skills extend far beyond social relationships and acceptance.
Social skills require continuous effort and refinement as children grow. They aren't innate traits, but can be developed and enhanced with effort and practice over time. Some social skills can be quite complex, such as knowing when to be assertive if a friend is being bullied or when to stay silent if you disagree with an umpire's call. At Beelieve Paediatric Therapy, we encourage parents and carers to engage in teachable moments to help your children improve their social interactions.
Our Term 4 School Readiness Program, designed for children entering Prep in 2025 is centred around providing multiple opportunities for kids to practice their social skills, with sharing, turn taking and practicing listening as focal points in the program. Please contact us if you would like more information on our school readiness program.
What Are Social Skills
Social skills encompass the abilities we employ daily to engage and communicate with others effectively. These skills encompass both verbal and non-verbal forms of communication, including speech, gestures, facial expressions, and body language. Strong social skills entail possessing the knowledge of appropriate behaviour in various social situations and comprehending both explicit and implicit rules when interacting with others.
Why Are Social Skills For Children Important?
Better Outcomes
Children with strong social skills tend to experience better overall outcomes in various aspects of their lives. They are more likely to have positive interactions with peers and adults, leading to a more supportive and enriching environment. These children often perform better academically, as their ability to communicate effectively with teachers and classmates can enhance their learning experiences. Additionally, they are better equipped to handle social challenges and conflicts, leading to a more stable and positive developmental trajectory.
More Success
Success in life is not solely determined by academic achievement; social skills play a significant role. Children who can navigate social situations with ease often find more success in group activities, collaborative projects, and later in their professional lives. These skills are crucial for teamwork, leadership, and networking—abilities that are highly valued in most career paths. A study published in the American Journal of Public Health suggests that a child’s social and emotional skills in kindergarten may be the strongest predictor of success in adulthood.
Stronger Friendships
One of the most immediate benefits of strong social skills for children is the ability to form and maintain healthy, meaningful friendships. Children who can communicate well, empathise with others, and manage their emotions are more likely to develop deeper and more enduring relationships, and research suggests that friendships are important for mental health. Friendships provide emotional support, boost self-esteem, and contribute to a sense of belonging and security. Strong social networks established in childhood can also provide a valuable support system throughout life.
Reduced Stress
Effective social skills can significantly reduce stress in children. Those who are adept at interacting with others tend to feel more comfortable in social situations, which can decrease anxiety and the feeling of being overwhelmed. For example, children who can express their needs and resolve conflicts peacefully are less likely to experience the stress associated with social misunderstandings or isolation. A study on the power of a social skills program on children’s stress levels found that when children are unable to communicate effectively with others, stress only gets worse.
“Researchers have found that children experienced a decrease in cortisol, a hormone released during stressful situations, once they learned new social skills.” (Larose MP, Ouellet-Morin I, Vitaro F, et al.)
Moreover, having a supportive social circle can provide emotional relief and a sense of stability, further reducing overall stress levels.
Main Social Skills For Children
1. Sharing
Learning to share is a fundamental social skill that plays a crucial role in a child's overall development. It fosters a sense of empathy, cooperation, and fairness, which are essential for building healthy relationships and thriving in various social environments. A study published in Psychological Science found that children as young as age 2 may exhibit a desire to share with others, but typically only when they have plenty of resources.
Children between the ages of 3 and 6 often exhibit seemingly selfish behaviour when it comes to sharing resources that come at a personal cost. For example, a child might be hesitant to share half of their cookie with a friend because it means having less for themselves. On the other hand, they might readily share a toy they are no longer interested in.
By ages 7 or 8, children become more concerned with fairness and are more willing to share. Kids who feel good about themselves are often more inclined to share, and sharing in turn boosts their self-esteem. Teaching kids to share can thus enhance their self-worth.
How To Practice
While it’s usually not effective to force your child to share, you can highlight and praise sharing when it occurs, providing positive reinforcement. For example, you might say, “You shared the car with your friend, even though you were playing with it. He’s smiling now, I think you sharing has made him feel happy!” This reinforces positive behaviour and helps children understand the emotional impact of sharing on others.
We provide numerous opportunities to practice sharing during our School Readiness Program, designed for children entering Prep in 2025. For more information about the program and if it is suitable for your child, please contact us.
2. Co-operating
Cooperating means working together to achieve a common goal. Children who cooperate are respectful when others make requests, contribute actively, and help out when needed.
Good cooperation social skills for children are essential for learning how to get along within a community. Your child will need to cooperate with classmates both on the playground and in the classroom. Cooperation remains important into adulthood as well.
By about age 3 1/2, children can begin to work with peers towards a common goal. For them, cooperation may involve activities like building a toy tower together or playing a group game. Learning to cooperate also includes being a good sport when things don’t go their way. Kids learn that celebrating another person’s success doesn’t diminish their own worth.
In cooperative settings, some children may take on leadership roles while others may feel more comfortable following instructions. Either way, cooperation provides a valuable opportunity for kids to learn about themselves and how they function best within a group.
How to Practice
Discuss the importance of teamwork and how tasks are easier and more enjoyable when everyone contributes. Create opportunities for the whole family to work together, such as preparing a meal, doing chores, building a tower together, cooperative board games, group clean up, gardening or obstacle course for teamwork.
We provide numerous opportunities to practice social skills for children, including cooperating, during our School Readiness Program, designed for children entering Prep in 2025. For more information about the program and if it is suitable for your child, please contact us.
3. Listening
Listening isn’t merely about staying quiet; it involves genuinely absorbing what someone else is saying. It's a critical component of healthy communication, especially considering how much learning in school relies on a child’s ability to listen to their teacher. A large part of school readiness is learning to be an active listener so that directions can be followed easily. Moreover, listening plays a vital role in developing empathy. Without actively listening and understanding others, a child cannot effectively show compassion or offer support.
As your child progresses academically, absorbing material, taking notes, and contemplating what is being said become increasingly important. Providing ample opportunities for your child to practice listening can strengthen this skill
It's crucial for your child to grow up knowing how to listen to authority figures, romantic partners, and friends alike. Mastering this skill may be challenging in the digital age, so it's essential to emphasise to your kids from an early age that smartphones and other devices should not be a distraction during conversations.
How to Practice
When reading to your children, intermittently pause and ask them to summarise what you’ve read so far. Encourage them to actively engage with the material and fill in any gaps they may have missed. These listening skills also encourage your child to stay focused and engage with the text. See if they might predict what happens next, based on clues they heard in the text.
At Beelieve Paediatric Therapy, we also emphasise the importance of not interrupting others when they are speaking, and listening to a story is a wonderful way to practice. If your child is interrupting, try whispering the exciting and important parts of the story in a dramatic, engaging to subtly encourage them to be quiet and listen (lest they miss the best bit!)
We provide numerous opportunities to practice social skills for children, including listening, during our School Readiness Program, designed for children entering Prep in 2025. For more information about the program and if it is suitable for your child, please contact us.
4. Understanding and Following Directions
Mastering the ability to follow instructions ranks among the most critical social skills for children. Whether in the classroom, at home, or on the sports field, a child who can attentively listen, comprehend, and execute instructions holds a significant advantage.
Parents are well aware that children don't always adhere to directions. Therefore, understanding how to effectively teach children the importance of following instructions is invaluable.
Before expecting children to excel at following directions, it's vital for parents to become adept at giving clear instructions. To provide effective directions and avoid common pitfalls, consider the following strategies:
Provide One Direction at a Time: Instead of overwhelming children with multiple tasks, give them one instruction at a time. For instance, instead of saying, “Pick up your shoes, put your dirty clothes in the laundry, and wash your hands,” wait until the shoes are picked up before issuing the next direction.
Avoid Phrasing Directions as Questions: Refrain from phrasing directions as questions, as this implies children have the option to refuse. Saying “can you put your socks away” subtly suggests that the child doesn’t have to put their socks away. Instead, clearly state instructions and then ask children to repeat back what was said to ensure understanding, for instance “Put your socks away. What do you need to do?”.
Acknowledge Mistakes: Recognise that mistakes are a normal part of the learning process. Young children may get distracted or forget what they're supposed to do. Each mistake presents an opportunity to help them refine their skills. Don’t get angry, just suggest we try again.
How to Practice
Offer Praise: Reinforce positive behaviour by praising children for following directions promptly. For example, saying, “Thank you for turning off the TV the first time I asked you to,” acknowledges their ability to follow the instruction they were given.
Provide Opportunities for Practice: Give children opportunities to practice following simple commands. Offer clear instructions, such as “Please pass that book to me,” and immediately acknowledge and praise their listening and following of the direction.
We provide numerous opportunities to practice social skills for children, including practicing taking direction, during our School Readiness Program, designed for children entering Prep in 2025. For more information about the program and if it is suitable for your child, please contact us.
5. Respecting Personal Space
Understanding and respecting personal space is crucial in social interactions. Some children may unknowingly invade others' personal bubbles by standing too close or reaching into their personal space without consideration. It's essential to teach kids the importance of respecting boundaries.
Establishing household rules that emphasise respecting personal space can be beneficial. Encourage children to knock on closed doors and refrain from invading others' personal bubbles without permission. If a child displays impulsive behaviour such as grabbing objects or pushing when impatient, it's important to set clear consequences.
In crowded school environments, respecting personal space reduces the likelihood of conflicts. Children who understand and adhere to personal boundaries are less likely to engage in physical altercations or make others feel uncomfortable, fostering a more peaceful and harmonious classroom atmosphere.
Seize teachable moments to address personal space issues. Take your child aside and offer guidance on appropriate boundaries and the importance of respecting others' personal space. As they grow older, discussions about setting boundaries for themselves and understanding the boundaries of others become increasingly relevant.
How to Practice
Teach children to maintain an arm's length distance when conversing with others. Discuss appropriate spacing when standing in line and remind them to keep their hands to themselves. Role-playing various scenarios can be an effective way for children to practice and internalise the concept of appropriate personal space.
6. Engaging in Eye Contact
Maintaining good eye contact is a vital aspect of effective communication. Some children find it challenging to meet the gaze of the person they're speaking to. Whether due to shyness or preoccupation with other activities, it's essential to emphasise the significance of making eye contact.
For children who struggle with eye contact, gentle reminders can be helpful. After a conversation, offer subtle prompts like, “Where should you look when someone is talking to you?” It's crucial to avoid causing additional anxiety, especially for shy children. Additionally, praise your child when they remember to make eye contact during conversations. Some kids will find eye contact too confronting and this is ok. If this is the case, work with them as ‘detectives’ and find somewhere else they can look to achieve the same goal but they are more comfortable with e.g. someone’s ears, nose etc.
Eye contact is a crucial aspect of communication. In school settings, children need to be able to engage with teachers, classmates, and other adults effectively. Making eye contact while speaking or listening demonstrates attentiveness and respect, enhancing the quality of communication.
Establishing eye contact fosters connection and rapport with others. It signals interest, confidence, and sincerity, which are essential for forming positive relationships with teachers, peers, and school staff. Strong relationships contribute to a supportive and inclusive learning environment.
How to Practice
To help your child understand the importance of eye contact, consider the following exercises:
Demonstrate Impact: Role-play a conversation where you avoid making eye contact, and then another where you maintain appropriate eye contact. Discuss how each scenario felt and the difference eye contact makes in communication.
Reciprocal Practice: Encourage your child to engage in conversations while making eye contact with you. Start with simple stories or topics of interest, gradually increasing the complexity of discussions. Provide feedback and positive reinforcement as they improve their ability to maintain eye contact.
Thinking with Your Eyes: Encourage your child to observe others' eye contact and guess what they might be thinking based on where they are looking. Imagine that your eyes have arrows, and if you drew an imaginary line from your eyes in the direction they are looking, you could figure out what they are thinking. This can be a fun game to practice. By observing the actions, expressions, and reactions of others, people can better interpret social cues and context, leading to more effective interactions.
We provide numerous opportunities to practice social skills for children, including maintaining eye contact, during our School Readiness Program, designed for children entering Prep in 2025. For more information about the program and if it is suitable for your child, please contact us.
7. Practicing Good Manners
Instilling the habit of using manners, such as saying please and thank you and exhibiting proper table etiquette, can greatly enhance your child's reputation for the right reasons. Teachers, parents, and peers alike tend to appreciate a well-mannered child.
Teaching manners may feel like a continuous effort, as children sometimes forget or overlook proper behaviour, whether it's burping loudly at the table or seeming to display ingratitude. However, it's essential for children to understand the importance of politeness and respect, especially in social settings like other people's homes or at school.
How to Practice
Lead by example and demonstrate good manners in your daily interactions. Regularly use phrases like "No, thank you" and "Yes, please" when communicating with your child, and model good manners by demonstrating your own manners in daily interactions yourself. Offer gentle reminders when your children forget to use manners and commend them when you notice them displaying polite behaviour.
Our School Readiness Program allows multiple opportunities to practice social skills for children entering school, including sharing, cooperating, listening, following directions, being respectful of personal space, eye contact and manners. If you would like more information about our program, we invite you to contact us today.
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